02/06/2019

Dear Love,

It’s February. When it’s February, I usually do this thing… do a podcast or make a vlog series. I was going to do Vloglentines this year again but I could not. Then I thought maybe I should just do what I feel is easy.

You see I was never really good at relationships or commitments. But I was always good at one thing: writing love letters. Maybe because I didn’t always have anybody to really talk to. Not that I did not have friends. But somehow I always found it easier to share my thoughts by writing. In journals. In personal essays. Even in school projects.

In high school, I would be so busy in February. I wrote love letters. Not just for my crush but for other people. I wrote love letters that my friends would send to their girlfriends or to their crushes or to the girls they are courting. Often, I’d ask them what they want to say. Then, I would take a sheet from my stationery collection. And write as beautifully as I could. Sometimes, they would not even tell me what to write. I just wrote whatever I thought would put a smile on the recipient’s face. After writing the letter, I would fold it carefully and hand it over to whoever was sending or delivering it. Sometimes, I’d deliver it myself.

I wrote so many love letters I could not count how many. Not just in February. Not just in high school. I loved writing love letters. I loved writing letters. I love writing.

But it has been a long time. I have nobody to write to.

This year, I wanted to post my unsent love letters for February. Talk about my past failed relationships and not quite relationships. Post about how I was so in love one moment and how sad I was the next. How broken I felt. Or how kilig it was. Share what lessons I learned and what I now know about myself. But it did not feel right.

I just really wanted to write. Write from the gut. Write as if just one person would read it and not really care if things are perfect. Write because I want to share something. Write because I just really want to write. Write because I have something to write about.

So here I am. Writing you this letter. As if there is a you reading this. As if there is somebody I can tell things to. But you know, this is what this blog is really about. This is why I started blogging. I had so many thoughts, too many ideas, lots of things to talk about but I did not have anybody to share it with. So I decided to blog about it to the world.

I cannot promise that I will continue to write more letters. But I want to. I want to write what I feel, what I think, how I am without really knowing who it is for and why.

I want to ask you how you have been and if you have been taking care of yourself. Even if there is no you.

Because writing is what I do. And writing love letters are what I enjoy and love doing. Even if it is for no one.

One day, I will read this. As I read my past posts. And laugh at myself. Remember this moment. What I might have been thinking or feeling. And wonder about why I even thought of writing this and publishing it for the world to see. Thinking about it now made me laugh a bit. And smile.

This is already too long. I hope you’re smiling too. And maybe laughing a bit. Coz I am being silly. Which is rare for me.

I hope you are having a good day, whereever you are. And thank you! Thank you because you read this entire thing and reached this part. I hope you like it.

Catch up with you again soon.

Love, Ria

PS Never forget that there is always somebody you can talk to.