This is an open letter… to myself.

Dear Ms Jose,

I know you still love him. (unsure) And we know you shouldn’t. Stop yourself.

While you are smart enough to know he’s never going to choose you and that he’s not coming back to you, we know there’s a part of you still hoping. Stop.

Your pride is hurt. In every possible way, you should have been the one as he was your one. But you are not his one. You might never be. If only we didn’t love Math, we’d say it’s impossible that he’s ever coming back. But Mathematically speaking, the only thing we are certain about is that nothing else is certain.

ANYWAY, yes, you were and still is the better girl… more beautiful, smarter, and you treated him better than he deserved. And yes you loved him. Sincerely. Selflessly. Whole-heartedly. And you were stupid.

But you must let go. Yes, you have moved on. At least, you are trying to. But have not let go. You are still hanging to that very small flicker of hope.

Save yourself the trouble. He is not coming back. He is not going to mend your broken heart. He will not take away the pain. He simply won’t.

It was what it was. And while you both went farther than you than you promised yourselves, it’s time to pull back from that miserable hole you both dragged yourselves into.

It was your choice, right? Panindigan mo. You should or you’ll never get over it. Stop thinking he deserves you. Because you don’t deserve him. You deserve better.

There’s no you and him. It’s just you. And there’s him with her.

Move on. Let go. Face life. There’s more to be had than a complex relationship with a guy who didn’t pick you. And no matter what the movies say, it probably won’t be a happy ending between you and him.

There will be others. And if there won’t be, so what? You’ve lived your life alone for a long time.

Let go. You deserve better. I know it’s hard to believe that, but you do. We know you have never met anybody, not even from among your friends, who understands you as much as he does. We know the two of you complement each other well, and during times you don’t understand each other, you choose to accept each other’s differences.

If only it was another time and place. If only… right? But it isn’t a different time and place. It cannot be. It is what it is. That’s life. Life, as we know it, loves giving your glimmers of hope. Mahilig ito magpaasa sayo, just to let you know you could have something good.

Let go. Save yourself from the misery of eternally hoping. Face the truth. Your life has never been easy. You’ve been so used to struggling that you think this is just one of those challenges and hurdles you just have to suffer and you’d be eventually rewarded. It isn’t.

Move on. Let go. Trust me, you’ll be happier.

You cannot be happy by just hoping things will turn your way. It won’t.

Stop choosing to love someone who didn’t will not choose you. He might have loved you, but he chose not to love you anymore. Accept that. Live with it.

Move on. Let go. You have to.

Mahal kita,

Ria