Ok so, I am not really Zen and not likely to be in that state of peace and calm. Nonetheless…
I had dinner with my relatives because today was Tito Jing’s birthday. As it was a family affair, the people I loathed most were there. GRAWRRR! And one of them was especially annoying today. Seeing childish person acting like she has done nothing wrong towards me was damn irritating. Every time I see her and her minions laughing and smiling, I feel not just pain but great anger. Yes, anger.
I was going to write a very long angry angsty post again. But why waste more words, energy, and bandwidth on useless crap shit load of people? Well, I know I just did a bit of that and it feels better to unload a bit. HAHA!
Anyway, I don’t feel much better now. I’m struggling to feel better. Maybe, as Kuya advised, I should really learn how to be apathetic and numb. Hmmm… I am definitely not the Zen type of person. And right now, I am so not in the mood to be the bigger, better person.
But hey, I’m doing effin fine without them and their stupid rules and expectations. And I think that would suffice for now.
“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate…leads to the Dark Side….”
“As it was a family affair, the people I loathed most were there.”
— I LOVE this sentence! hahaha!
I’m sorry, when I said “apathetic and numb”, that doesn’t mean “zen”. It means leaving the past behind and simply GROW UP!! What you wrote just put you in the same league as them.
Because I am… HAHA!
Not funny.
Hi Ria, why do you hate your family so much? And if you hate or LOATH was the word you used, why attend a family function at all? I wonder if you realize that it is Holy Monday today? LENT is a time for reflection and forgiveness. Why don’t you sit down with the family you hate so much, and try to dig deep down into your souls and find out what’s bugging you and them, instead of fanning this hatred into deeper hatred. And who is this childish person acting like she did not do anything wrong towards you? Don’t you think it’s better to have a dialogue with her? She might not even be aware that she has done something wrong?
I hope you will give my advice a thought.
God bless you and enlighten you, and may you find it in your heart to forgive those who have caused you such pain and suffering.
Tita Brooks
Hi Ria,
I have been waiting for a comment from you regarding my March 17/08 posting. I am wondering whether you have read it at all. I happened to see your blog when an officemate sent me an email re the Philippines. I am not so savvy when it comes to blogs, websites and anything computer related. I use the computer at work, so that’s about my computer experience. I do want to hear from you. Pls email if you wish: brooksfernandez@yahoo. com.