I Emo Week (that sounds like a National Geoprahic Special, LOL!) over yet? Not quite. Things are better, I feel better. But the problems are here to stay. BOO YEAH!

I will be a very long time before I will be totally ok. For now, let’s just say I’m getting by, finding every little reason to smile, and ignoring the reasons to be sad.

It was a crappy, stressful week filled with unexpected sadness. And it wasn’t even that time of the month. It just so happened that epiphanies and realizations (not so good ones) hit me right and left, daily.

Although the problems are still there, the pains, hurts, and wounds are still present, I am trying to make things work, to find reasons to smile and forge on. I am not yet ready to leave the past, forgive, forget, and move on. But I’m doing my best to get out of the hole I have dug.

It’s a long, long way to go before I can get to where I want to be, to where I should be. I have a lot of things to accomplish, a lot of problems to solve. And sometimes it stills overwhelms me. But I am trying. Trying my best to wake up each day, and put one foot in front of the other… to get closer to what I aspire for.

I still have to do a lot of work. I still have to pay for my mistakes, and re-build what has been destroyed, and work on things that have been left undone.

For now, I cannot say, talk, write, blog about anything concrete, anything particular, but those who know me… (I hope) know what I am talking about. And I hope, they just don’t “know” but understand as well. Because that’s just what I need know, for people to understand me, or at least try to.

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