I woke up past 7 am, after barely 2 hours of sleep. I wasn’t able to sleep last night, probably because of the two cups of coffee I had yesterday, or maybe because I cried for hours last night… Oh, yeah, ladies and gentlemen… let’s welcome back emo Ria. *CLAP! CLAP!*

I cried for hours last night, unable to stop myself. I am not ok. In less than a week, it will be Christmas. I know that should cheer me up and give me something to look forward to. But it doesn’t. It makes me feel sad and depressed, and angry.

So expect more angry, emo, or angry emo posts in the coming days. I want so much to blog right now, but I can’t fully grasp everything that I am thinking and feeling. All I know is I am not ok. I am not fine.

I am trying to feel better, and think of things to make me feel better. But no matter how hard I try, there’s nothing left for me to feel but emptiness, sadness, bitterness, and anger.

I know it has been a good year, a very educational and productive year, and I should be thankful and happy. But I can’t. I simply can’t.

I know people say that happiness is a choice. That’s not what I choose right now.