Dear Love, I have been planning to write this for a few days now. Despite how complicated what we had was, you were the only one who really saw me. You listened to me. Tried to understand me. Remembered things I mentioned. Consoled me when I needed it. I guess what I am trying to say is "thank you!" For the longest time, I kept on asking myself why our memories mean much to me. We did not have much. Not much time nor memories together. Yet what we had... whatever it was, it still means much to me. And it struck me. You truly saw and understood who I am. And I haven't realized that there are so few so who did that for me, made me feel seen and understood. Like my problems mattered. As if what I said had meaning. That my victories, big and small, were things I should be proud of. While I regret so much of what happened between us, I am still grateful because you always listened. You were always there to comfort me. You never insisted on solving my problems for me but you were always ready to help when I asked…
Tag: dear love
Dear Love
Dear Love, The past few weeks have been great. The past two days have been especially wonderful. I have been laughing and also been very productive. But today, just a few moments ago, I read a piece of fiction that I have already previously read. I loved it when I first read it. It is a happy end to a sad story. So when I saw it again, I re-read the last few parts. But it made me sad. And suddenly, tears were about to fall. And I found it difficult to move, to lift the glass of water, to stand up. I felt weak. I do not know why. To be honest, I do not want to know why it made me sad. I have things to do. But this, I can do to try to lessen the pain. Or numb myself. I write about it. Tell this story to you. There is nothing more than a sad story here. No lesson, no insight. Nothing new. Just me being randomly sad and not feeling ok for no particular reason. I do not want to cry it out or sleep it off because I really want to finish what I…
Dear Love
Dear Love, It's been a while. Suddenly, it is August... and before we know it, the ber season is here. And 2021 will come to a close. It's like I blinked to rest and the year went by, without much really happening to me. But really, a lot has happened since. I would like to say I am much better. Truth is, I do not know. But this I am certain, I have come to know, learn, and realize a lot these past few months. Whether by mistake or mere happenstance, I have come to understand more about myself. Not intentionally. Definitely not deliberately. But I welcomed it. Like a flood, memories came rushing back. Along with it, more tears than I had expected. Countless nights spent thinking. Mulling, And yes, crying myself to sleep. I am not ok. But this time, not because of the usual reasons. One day, I will be brave enough to tell those stories. Share those memories. Meantime, I will spend more time thinking, asking, and seeking answers. Not because I need closure, but because I need to do better. Be better. I am not ok. My heart is not ok. My mind is clouded.…
Dear Love 02/22
Dear Love, It has been a long time. I have been meaning to write for weeks now but I always forgot to do so. Not because I have no reason to share but, well, because I have been too preoccupied. And I have also started journaling. My entries are mostly short and not as profound as I would like them to be. I often write about an hour before I sleep. So I am usually sleepy or tired. I am still undecided about how I should proceed with journaling. Should I just do as I do now and write about whatever my thoughts are at the end of the day? Or should I try to be more creative? I do want to try to do creativity exercises but I am still unsure about that. My days have been long and productive since January 1. But the past week has been hard. Nothing bad happened. Nothing big really. I was just exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I did not plan to rest or take a break but I slept late on Monday because of F1 and was happy to see that I had coincidentally scheduled Tuesday as rest day. And I…
Dear Love 06/03
06/03/19 Dear Love, Nobody comes into the world broken. But every person in our life, every day, every situation has the capacity to break us. Some in one big blow. Others by cracking us little by little. And a few by making us brittle and weak. And we, in turn, also has the same capacity to break others. When we get broken, no matter how much we work to mend, the cracks will always be there. You can maybe fix or mend something broken. Sometimes, it might even end up more beautiful. Or stronger. But inside, it remains broken. More fragile. Insecure. Unstable. So be kind. Never forget that you can break others in a million different ways. And you can be broken an infinite number of times. Be kind and take care of others. Most important of all, never forget to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself, as well. ❤️
Dear Love 09/02
September 2, 20193:51 am Dear Love, I'm working on my blog and I saw two unpublished drafts. This is the first one. June 3, 2019 2:36 am Dear Love, I'm sitting at the breakfast table eating pizza while watching a Filipino romance film when it hit me. Do not fall back into a habit just because it feels comfortable or easy. You deserve better. You can demand more. Nobody else can fight for your own happiness as much as you could. So stay afloat. Do not settle. Fight because you are your best advocate. Never forget you deserve happiness. You deserve love. You are worthy. ❤️ I do not remember why I wrote this but never published. But I needed this today. Thank you, love! And I am reminded of my post from last March: Yes, love. You are worthy. Fight for your own happiness. It is not selfish or self-centered. There is nothing to give if you do not have any for yourself. So fight for people. Fight for what you believe in. But fight for yourself first. And to those who feel like people undervalued them or they are not appreciated enough, I say to you... value yourself.…