It has been said before... and no matter how hard we try not to make it true... it is a fact... Love is never enough. Two people can love each other sincerely and yet not be together... because we live in a world where distance matters, where time matters, where even money matters... work and stress take its toll, life happens... SHIT happens. No matter how much you try to make it work, it just does not happen the way you want it to happen. I do not feel bitterness, no more pain... only sadness. I was never angry, only frustrated. We didn't break up because of differences. It wasn't because of a misunderstanding. We just knew, understood that we would be better off without the relationship, without the commitment, without the expectations, without the complications. A lot of people never understood our relationship. It didn't make sense to them. But it did to us. And that's what mattered to us. But it became difficult... we didn't live in a bubble that rendered us immune to the realities, and holding on to the relationship became a struggle. But we are happy. It still doesn't make sense to most people, but…
Category: love
Single Again
We didn't fight, we didn't have any misunderstandings. It just had to happen. Long distance relationships are hard. Ours was made more complicated by personal problems, both his and mine. We thought it would not be as hard breaking up as friends. But it is... it's hard and painful. But it had to happen. Blogging about it seems hard. It makes things seem real and final. But I have to. This is one part of me, of my life I have to share. For now, this is all I can say. But expect more drama and emo in the coming days.
All is Fine
...for now. We talked things over, and we decided it's going to be a rough ride. But we're both willing to weather this storm. I just hope we continue to grow and learn from this experience. Otherwise, it will be all for naught.
Confused
I don't know what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel anymore. Pros and cons, positives and negatives, what ifs, consequences, repercussions, anxieties, and fears all crowd my mind right now. There are times, moments when things seem easy, when deciding and choosing is possible. But there are times when all becomes hazy again. Why does it have to be so hard? In paper, what I have to do seems clear and easy to pick. But the reality is... it's not. It's not as easy as it seems, not as simple as I want it to be. I keep on hoping that maybe soon enough all will be clear, that suddenly, I will decide... we will decide and stand by it no matter what, for the sake of ourselves. But that does not seem to be in the horizon. For now, everything is up in the air. Now I know what "It's complicated" truly means and it's not a good thing. It's as if our lives, what we have, our feelings are in a limbo. One wrong step and everything will fall and break. And one correct move will make everything better. It takes just one…
Lessons I Learned Today
Here are some things I realized throughout this day... 1.) Be patient. 2.) Don't not be quick to say things when you are angry. You might regret it. 3.) Trust. 4.) When feeling intense emotions, take a deep breath, work, immerse yourself in productive things rather than wallow in anger or pain. 5.) Let go of things that only add to your stress especially if these things do not contribute to your personal growth. 6.) Smile. Laugh. There's always something to be happy about. 7.) Be thankful. There is always something to be thankful for.
It's A Choice
A lot of people haven't been very enthusiastic over my long distance relationship with a guy I barely know. If I were in their position, I'd be worried and pessimistic too. True, there are moments when I think things through and realize that this relationship does not make a lot of sense. How can I, eternal critic of all things and everybody that can be criticized, be in a relationship with somebody who is not at all my type of guy... in a kind of relationship that is something I used to frown on. I must admit, there are moments when breaking up seems to be the better, saner option. And it is. But for now, I choose this. I choose to be in the relationship because despite everything, I have matured because of it. I have learned things about myself and about loving that I didn't know before. Falling in love is not a choice, it's a feeling we can't avoid or force ourselves into. I have felt it before and it has done me no good. This time around I didn't fall in love. I chose to love. He might not be the perfect guy, might not be…