Category: life

Last Saturday I attended mass. It was the 20th Death Anniversary of my father. I barely knew my father. He died when I was only 5 years old, and I didn't really grow up with him. I remember very little about him. I know he was very tall and thin. He was moreno. He was good at playing chess on the PC. And he made a dollhouse from scratch for me and my sister. Yun lang. After he died, I didn't really miss him. How can I miss a person who was never really present in my life? Everytime I am reminded of him, and how he lived his life, I am consumed by questions, doubt, and anxiety. This often happens every year when we "celebrate" his death anniversary. Some people say I was his favorite daughter. There are just two of us, but that still puts a lot of pressure on me. I know I have not been perfect and I have made too many mistakes. Remembering my father always makes me re-think my life and how I have lived it. For the first time last Saturday, I was quite proud of myself. I know that past year has…