After I blogged that I don't have a photo of my dad, my aunt digged up her albums and tried to look for one Christmas photo of me and my family, and the dollhouse my dad made for me and my sister. That's the photo above. I thought it would make me happy. For a time, it did (like for five minutes). But as I looked at it last night, it made me cry. I cried for more than an hour and I hated myself for it. It seemed like I was stuck in a bad melodramatic movie. Nonetheless, I'm kinda glad I now have a proof that I did have a dad, and a doll house. BTW, I was a cute kid, no? Guess which one I am. And guess which one is my cousin who threw a tantrum to be included in our family's uber exclusive, once in a lifetime family photo. :D (Note: The doll house is in actual photo but not on this one because this is just a photo of the photo. :P)
Category: life
Dieting For Vanity's Sake
Yeah, yeah, yeah... been starving myself since the other day. Tuesday I didn't eat ANYTHING for dinner except some crackers and two pieces of oatmeal cookies. Today I ate tocino and a quarter cup of rice for lunch, luglug for dinner (at 5 pm!), and some slices of wheat bread. WHY YOU ASK?! Because I'm vain! I'm dieting so I could but new clothes and fit them well. And yeah, I think it's time to find a new boy. And boys nowadays are pretty much attracted to the thin types... so yeah, I'm dieting for them too. I am LOL'ing at myself now coz I know that clothes and boys won't really make me a better person, or happier. But yeah, I'm dieting coz I want them boys and clothes. :P I have resolved, however, not to starve myself. Rather, I'll eat but eat only healthy food and lessen consumption of indulgences such as chocolate, desserts, coffee, and chichirya. So here's to me trying to lose weight yet again... and this time it's for clothes and boys!
My Choice
There comes a time in your life when someone or something gives you hope, makes you believe in things and possibilities. But things don't always work out the way you want them to, not even when you work hard for it, not even when circumstances change favorably, because people are people. People change. Sometimes when success is within reach, people get selfish, priorities changes, loyalties don't matter, hard work does not count. Just when you think everything is starting to fall into its right place, and your hard work is starting to pay off, the very core, the foundation on which you stand on starts to crumble. And you are left with two choices, forget your ideals and loyalties, forget the past and move on with what will lead you to succeed even if you hurt people along the way, or get left behind. I chose to get left behind because these are the things I value: loyalty, hard work, honesty, and respect. I am not to say I chose the right thing, but although it's painful not to enjoy the fruits of my hard work, I am at peace with my choice. It's frustrating, disappointing to believe in something,…
I Just Want to be Happy
I was never a big fan of Sex and the City, (I'd rather not elaborate. :P) but I did watch the TV show, and of course I had to watch the movie. The movie was funny and better than expected. But the editing was... weird! I suspect they censored it a bit to get a R-13 rating. But this post is not really about the movie... While watching the movie, I realized, I don't need anything. I just want to be happy. I don't need a man, a husband, children, success, fame, and wealth... I just want to be happy. I smile a lot, laugh (boisterously) a lot, but I don't think I've ever been truly happy. I'm a big mess and my life is an even bigger one. Sure there have been times when I felt elated, happy at a thought, at a nice compliment, excited by an event or situation. Lately, I've been having more success, recognition, and reasons to smile than I ever expected. But when I go home, I am lonely, a part of me is missing. I rarely cry nowadays. My life has been worse and I think I have been through the worst I…
Information on Henoch-Schonlein Purpura Needed
Vida Maya Ko has posted on her blog, and emailed me this letter: My niece Kaisha, 4, was brought to the hospital several times here in Davao--medical check-up at Brokenshire Hospital and confinement at San Pedro Hospital to be exact. Lab tests and observations were inconclusive until finally her sharp stomach pains and vomiting were dismissed as mere dyspepsia. When they thought she was well enough to travel, they flew back to Manila. However, the stomach pains recurred, but this time with purplish rashes on the legs. She was brought to St. Luke's hospital, and after several visits and a confinement, she was diagnosed for Henoch-Schonlein Purpura, a form of blood vessel inflammation (vasculitis) syndrome affecting the kidneys, though intestinal in nature. The irritation of her stomach due to rashes/swellings in the intestines causes her to vomit. The swelling also causes displacement of her kidneys, thus affecting excretory functions, which also causes arthritis of her legs (edema or pagmamanas) and hypertension. Aspirin is the only medication at the moment that she can take to relieve the pain and swelling. Complications could be cardiac overload, respiratory arrest, and hemorrhage if long term treatment of aspirin is used. A serious long-term complication…
Papa
I was reading Ate Aileen's entry about her dad's birthday today and started crying. It's May 19, 2008, my dad's 21st death anniversary. I do not know a lot about my dad except for these... His name was Joel Cecilio Ozaraga Jose. He was born on June 3. I don't even know what year. His parents are Perfecto Sr. and Lourdes Jose. He was the youngest among 5 siblings. He has three sisters, Gloria, Milagros, and Teresita, and one brother, Perfecto Jr. He studied at the Ateneo de Davao High School and was in section A. He then studied at the University of the Philippines - Diliman where he took up AB Political Science. He then became affiliated with the League of Filipino Students (LFS) and stopped attending college when he became involved in the First Quarter Storm during the early Martial Law years. He met my mother, and they married eloped on December 20, 1976 (I am not sure about the year). They then went on to become members of the CPP-NPA. From what I know, they were both logistics officers. In 1979, they had a daughter, Cecilia, and another daughter in 1982, Maria. Both daughters were left in…