I feel overwhelmed. Some things are going waaay too fast. While some are just not going nowhere at all. I feel stuck. I'm confused. I don't know what to do, what to say. I wish I was back to that time when all that existed in my world was work. Work is not complicated. It has structure. Most of the time it's predictable. Life, on the other hand, and the people we meet along that way, it's hard to deal with. Even the happy moments, things you want to happen can overwhelm you, can make you feel lost. Too many things happening at the same time. The things I want to happen, meanwhile, do not happen at all. Expectations. I should live with less of it. I am in front of the computer now, not because I want to. Not because I enjoy it. But because I dread going home, being alone, awake, thinking about things. Things that are, things that were, things that should be. Should have, would have, could have. I exhaust myself so that when I get home, alone... there's no energy left to do anything else but sleep. I don't want to cry again. It's exhausting.…
Category: life
I Want a Berroca Relief Pack
I'm a sickly person. I easily get the sniffles, and every so often I have a fever or my throat acts up. When I lived with my mom, she would usually make me drink Berocca as a Vitamin C supplement. And I never complained. It's like a combination of orange juice and soda water. It's so refreshing. When I was younger, I would stare while the Berocca tablet would dissolve in the water and it would create some bubbles. I remember all these because Berocca is giving away a nifty Blogger Relief Pack. I know it's a long shot but I really, really, really WANT ONE! I NEED ONE! HELLO THERE BEROCCA PEOPLE! I have 10+ blogs I write for and maintain. I NEED A BLOGGER RELIEF PACK PLEASE!!! And now I go to the nearest drugstore to buy me some Berocca. :P
I Had the Urge to Blog
But I don't know why or what about. So just let me rant. I came from a wedding. I wore this errr... nice (but apparently sexy) dress. I was the host of the reception and after I said "Good evening! I'm Ria, and I'm your host for this evening," random guy shouted "HI MISS RIA, ANG GANDA MO!" (HI MISS RIA, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL!) Ohhhkay... Now I'm at the shop (the internet shop). I'm so tired, sleepy, and kinda stressed out but I don't want to go home yet. I miss being online for the sake of. I miss just Plurking, browsing through Multiply, Plurking, chatting over IM, Plurking, blog hopping, Plurking... I think I Plurk too much, right? Which reminds me, Plurk has been the avenue through which I become kilig lately. Well, nothing interesting is happening in my life (in the romance department) but there are too many Plurkers in love, falling in love, loving, wanting to be loved, etc. And it gives me sooo much kilig to read their Plurks. Sarap kiligin. :P And yeah, I'm still single. Not searching (OWS?!) actively, but I would like to. The part where I'm not searching actively is mostly because…
A Photograph
After I blogged that I don't have a photo of my dad, my aunt digged up her albums and tried to look for one Christmas photo of me and my family, and the dollhouse my dad made for me and my sister. That's the photo above. I thought it would make me happy. For a time, it did (like for five minutes). But as I looked at it last night, it made me cry. I cried for more than an hour and I hated myself for it. It seemed like I was stuck in a bad melodramatic movie. Nonetheless, I'm kinda glad I now have a proof that I did have a dad, and a doll house. BTW, I was a cute kid, no? Guess which one I am. And guess which one is my cousin who threw a tantrum to be included in our family's uber exclusive, once in a lifetime family photo. :D (Note: The doll house is in actual photo but not on this one because this is just a photo of the photo. :P)
Dieting For Vanity's Sake
Yeah, yeah, yeah... been starving myself since the other day. Tuesday I didn't eat ANYTHING for dinner except some crackers and two pieces of oatmeal cookies. Today I ate tocino and a quarter cup of rice for lunch, luglug for dinner (at 5 pm!), and some slices of wheat bread. WHY YOU ASK?! Because I'm vain! I'm dieting so I could but new clothes and fit them well. And yeah, I think it's time to find a new boy. And boys nowadays are pretty much attracted to the thin types... so yeah, I'm dieting for them too. I am LOL'ing at myself now coz I know that clothes and boys won't really make me a better person, or happier. But yeah, I'm dieting coz I want them boys and clothes. :P I have resolved, however, not to starve myself. Rather, I'll eat but eat only healthy food and lessen consumption of indulgences such as chocolate, desserts, coffee, and chichirya. So here's to me trying to lose weight yet again... and this time it's for clothes and boys!
My Choice
There comes a time in your life when someone or something gives you hope, makes you believe in things and possibilities. But things don't always work out the way you want them to, not even when you work hard for it, not even when circumstances change favorably, because people are people. People change. Sometimes when success is within reach, people get selfish, priorities changes, loyalties don't matter, hard work does not count. Just when you think everything is starting to fall into its right place, and your hard work is starting to pay off, the very core, the foundation on which you stand on starts to crumble. And you are left with two choices, forget your ideals and loyalties, forget the past and move on with what will lead you to succeed even if you hurt people along the way, or get left behind. I chose to get left behind because these are the things I value: loyalty, hard work, honesty, and respect. I am not to say I chose the right thing, but although it's painful not to enjoy the fruits of my hard work, I am at peace with my choice. It's frustrating, disappointing to believe in something,…