Most people know me as the Diyosa Blogger, a multi-tasker, a professional blogger, as a lifestyle columnist, a writer, the girl who’s up for anything anytime of the day, a poker player, the loud girl whom you should never anger, the girl who makes guys cry, kaladkarin, palaban, scary. I am known by a lot of things for a lot of different reasons, and those are mostly true. WERE mostly true.

This was who I was…

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While I was not exactly the wildest party girl in town or the most adventurous person in the world, I had a crazy life. I lived alone, woke up around 11 am every day, went out to work online at coffee shops, attended events, went out on most nights, worked online at home, and slept at 5 am. I had multiple jobs, hang out with different groups of friends, had vices, and dated a number of guys. That was then.

Now, this is where I live…

Lookie, they’re strapping me in…

I don’t actually live in an actual bubble now, but it seems like I am. For two reasons: I have to protect myself from the world and its elements, and it seems like too many people are watching and observing me from outside.

It all started on August 5, 2010. The day started out well. I attended a press conference with fellow bloggers and had a great time eating, networking, and learning about the company that had invited us.

And then, suddenly, I’m like this…

With my dangling earrings, studded denim mini-skirt, and made up face, I was admitted to the hospital for dengue. My platelet count was 52. The normal is around 150 – 450. The nurses and my cousin who is my doctor were even kinda baffled that I seemed to be doing well even with the low platelet count. I was gungho about the entire thing and kept worrying about the tasks, chores, and events I was going to miss because of dengue.

Little did I know… dengue was just the start of it. My platelet count went to as low as 8 and 9. Some friends in the medical profession told me they know of people who died of dengue with platelet counts higher than 8 and 9. I could have died, but I didn’t have any high grade fevers, no bleeding except from my gums, and I was feeling quite fine. In fact, quite a lot of people thought I was just pulling a prank on them coz I was the only dengue patient they know who was updating Facebook, sending out SMS announcements, and such.

After two transfusions of platelet concentrate, one of which my body rejected and had allergies to, my platelet count was still low.

The doctors suspected I had leukemia or other blood illneses and diseases so I had a bone marrow aspiration. Yup, they got blood samples from my bone marrow. Luckily, my marrow was healthy and it was producing healthy blood. The bad news? I have an autoimmune disease called idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). WHUT?! Idiopathic means it does not have a known cause. Thrombocytopenic means I have a low platelet count. There is something in my body attacking my platelets. And purpura means I bruise and bleed easily.

For treatment, I have to take prednisone, a corticosteroid. It affects my entire immune system to bring up my platelet count. As a consequence, it compromises my immune system and makes me prone to infections and illnesses. Somebody’s cough from 5 meters away can make me sick. Really sick.

The good news? I can leave the hospital. I was in the hospital for a week and I have been living at my Mommy’s house since I was discharged on August 12, 2010 with a platelet count of just 50.

Then, I started living in a bubble. I was not allowed to go out of the house until my check up on August 28, 2010. Not even to the garden. And I had to wear a mask when there are guests or other people around. Among other things, I was not allowed these:

• prolonged exposure to sun
• stress
• lack of sleep and rest
• poor diet or not eating on time
• coffee
• hot food and drinks
• chicken
• shrimps and crabs
• salty foods
• smoke and cigarette smoke
• alcoholic drinks
• nuts
• dirt and dust
• pollen
• large crowds
• sick or sickly people
• infections
• massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, and hair treatments
• things that will cause me to bruise, bleed, or get injured such as sharp corners, sharp objects, and heavy things

I was not even allowed to kiss my relatives on the cheeks.

Days leading to my discharge, as I was being briefed about ITP, I struggled a lot with how my life is going to change DRASTICALLY. And was not even thinking about fun, party, and vices. I was cancelling trips, delegating tasks, begging off workload, and basically wondering if I am ever going to be anything other than a “sick girl.”

I had to change everything; even the way I took baths and brushed my teeth. My sleeping patterns, eating habits, work schedule… my daily routine were altered. It’s almost an 180 degree turn from how my life was.

Now, I would wake up at 8 am. Eat a healthy breakfast. Take my medicines (tons of them). Work. Eat a big lunch. Work. Have afternoon snacks. Work. Eat dinner. Take medicines. Work. Have snacks. Work. Sleep. That’s how my life has been.

Yes, I eat a lot. I have to. Corticosteroids has a nasty side effect of greatly increasing appetite. Before ITP, I drank coffee and ate 2 meals a day. Or sometimes just one meal a day. Now, I eat three full meals and at least 2 snacks throughout the day. But I can’t just eat anything.

If I want to keep my Diyosa looks (even with the bloating courtesy of the corticosteroids again), I have to eat wisely. While I have been taking in a lot of protein during meals, I try to eat a lot of vegetables too. I also eat a lot of fruits. Non-citrus and non-acidic fruits only. For snacks, I eat yoghurt and oatmeal. And I eat a lot of bread and pastries. Plus, I drink a lot of water to help me release the toxins in my body.

While I would sometimes get bored and would occasionally complain about missing the outside world, I like this new life. It’s something I would have wanted for myself but didn’t have the courage or wisdom to choose.

I spend my days doing what I love most: writing, cooking and baking, and being with people who matter.

I had my check-up on August 28, 2010. It was the first time I was able to go out in more than three weeks. I wanted to kiss the ground, but that would only make me sick. LOL! I had to wear a mask, but I was smiling the entire time. I was anxious about my blood test results but look…

WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WOOHOO! PARTYYYYY! Kidding!

My platelet count was just above the normal of 150. It means my body is responding to the medication. But that’s just half of the battle. Now, we have to know if I am dependent on the medication or not. So I am due for another check at the end of September.

I can now go out to places with not much people and not much exposure to bacteria, dust, and other infections. But only for a few hours each day. And with a mask on, plus tissue, alcohol, and an oral spray in my bag.

Meantime, life goes on. Patuloy sa pagbabago!

I have realized that life is unfair. No matter how hard I try, it will not turn out the way I want to to be. And the best thing I can do about it is accept it, let go, and move on. Change, as they say, is the only constant thing in this world. Rather than waste my time and energy fighting it, getting depressed, and wallowing in my misfortune of being one of the very few adults in the world with ITP, I have chosen to live.

I am not a “sick girl.” I am the Diyosa who fought death. I did quite well with just a platelet count of 8, I’m sure I’m going to live a good life with 151. And I am thankful that my relatives, friends, sponsors, and work colleagues are with me!

My days are filled with opportunities to do the thing I love most: writing. For as long as I can write and there are things to write about, I will continue to be the Diyosa Blogger. With or without ITP! *croses fingers*

And then there’s my passion for cooking and baking. I am not allowed to be exposed to heat for long periods of time but I am happy I am still allowed to be a foodie. I eat good food, cook and bake when I want to, and share my experiences and recipes through my articles and blogs. There can be no greater joy for me other than sharing these passions.

And yes, other work and career opportunities are still waiting for me to be allowed to the outside world. And some entrepreneurial opportunities, too. With my mask on and a heart full of passion, I will be able to do these things soon.

On September 20, 2010, I will move out of Mommy’s house and live on my own once again. This time around, with a healthier lifestyle and a better attitude.

ITP did not just change my daily routine, but who I am. I have become better in handling anger and stress. I have learned how to accept, to let go, and to move on. I have a better, less jaded view on life and of people. I have become less angry and paranoid. Each day, I am grateful I am alive and I try, as much as possible to accomplish more things and make use of my time better.

I am not 100% well and I might never be. I’m not ok with that, but I will live with it.

For as long as I can explore new things and continue learning and growing, I will live. And this time around, it’s with a better attitude and a better perspective of life. Because the greatest news is… I AM ALIVE!

And this is who I am now…

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Happy. Content. But craving for more from life. 🙂

This Diyosa just became better! 😉

Muli, maraming salamat sa lahat ng mga kamag-anak, kaibigan, kakilala, kasama sa trabaho, ownlayn prends, at sa lahat ng taong nandyan lagi para sa akin! 🙂 This one’s for you!