The following is a product of a writing exercise that the blogger made during the Davao Bloggers Creative Writing Workshop 2 with Rene Lizada.

The exercise is called “Steps in an Irony Process Pararaph.”

It takes determination and diligence to become a dedicated smoker. However, there are simple steps you can follow to easily achieve this feat.

First, make sure you always have cigarettes with you. Don’t buy sticks, buy packs. And I don’t mean those flimsy packs of tens or fives which some stores sell. Always have a pack of 20 sticks of your preferred cigarettes. Or if you go grocery shopping, buy a box of packs. And with that, you must always have your own lighter. The fancy refillable ones are preferred. Or a box of matches. This way, when you have the urge to smoke, you don’t have to mooch off others or waste time looking for a pack to buy.

Second, do not share your cigarettes so that you won’t run out of supplies. Keep them in a safe place. Especially, when you are out drinking with your friends, do not put your pack on the table where everybody else can access it. Same goes for your lighter. Do not let others borrow it. Coz as we all know, it’s so convenient to take home other people’s lighters.

Third, hang out with people who smoke. That way you will not be iffy about smoking when others are around. In fact, hanging out with people who smoke will make you smoke more. And it’s a good excuse to be inhaling your own smoke because secondhand smoke is also dangerous ya know.

Fourth, do not hang out with children or sickly people, especially those with respiratory illnesses. They will only make you smoke less. And it would be hard to find excuses to get away from them just so you can smoke.

Fifth, hang out or go to places which have comfortable designated smoking areas. It’s such as hassle to step out or transfer someplace else just so you can have your smoke. Isn’t it much more fun to drink beer, drink coffee, study or work, have long meetings or conversations while smoking cigarettes? And you really don’t want to pay a fine just coz of smoking.

Sixth, do things that you enjoy doing before or while smoking such as drinking beer or coffee, eating oily foods, gambling or playing cards, or being is stressful situations. Or to make things easier, order a nice hot plate of oily sizzling sisig, a bucket of Red Horse, and open a pack of your favorite cigarettes while playing cards with your buddies. FUN!

Finally, and this is the most important thing, say this to yourself as much as you can “Smoking is a habit I can NEVER quit!”

There you go. What are you waiting for? Commit to it and DO THESE NOW!