"Ok lang ako," that's what I say when I am not fine but don't want people to know. Growing up, I was brought up to do as I please, say what I want, and not to be shy. But something happened along the way and I learn to be less like myself and say things I don't mean. And until now, I would answer "Ok lang ako," even when I'm hurting so bad, even when I am struggling, even when there's nothing more I want to do except lie in bed and stop living. Nowadays, I say that line more often. "Ok lang ako." Even when I am not. Because I do not want people to fuss. I do not want people to think I am weak, that I cannot handle myself, that I do stupid things. I know I am not perfect, nobody is. But I do not want people to see me for who I really am... weak and lonely. I know that's not all I am right now. But that's how I feel. And this blog post, it's nothing more than a confession that I am starting to crumble... near my breaking point. That no... hindi ako…
Month: August 2009
Rally
Last night, I saw on my cousin Mae's Facebook status message that one of her dogs died. I have never been a dog lover but I was somehow affected and saddened by the news. The story of how Rally became my Mae's dog is so quaint and unique. And he has been with my cousin for 11 years since. Mae shared her story on FB: Rally has been a dear friend and companion for several years now. He became a part of our family last April, 1998...Lemme share to you his/our story. My dad was running for VM for the 1998 elections. It was the peak of the campaign period since election day was just a month away. One sunny morning, my dad, brothers, and an entourage attended a rally a few blocks away from our house, on their way back, a mixed breed jap spitz/ chinese poodle/whatever dog followed them all the way to our house. He got inside our garage area and sat on the white wooden bench outside our house. He was as white as cotton and as cute as cupcake (cute ba ang cupcake? ah basta..that's the best way I'd describe him). I even remember my…
Maria Jose: Poster Girl
Coz I don't want the other Maria Jose to hog all the intarnets limelight for all of the Maria Joses in the world... And yes, my dream of being a Pagcor poster girl has been fulfilled... albeit unofficially... Because we were really bored and there was really good lighting and ambience at Jose Raphael Fine Coffee... Last one, for posterity... Photos taken during the Davao DigitalFilipino.com Fellowship Night. Photos and lay out by Chattee Lara.
My Cory Aquino
The media, traditional and new, have been overflowing with eulogies, tributes, and anecdotes about the late Corazon Aquino. I have never met her, nor do I know her personally. But to me, she is a great part of my life. When I was barely four years old in 1986, I learned how to do the L (for Laban) sign and I watched, like the rest of the world, while a housewife took the fight of her husband, ran for president and led the Filipinos to revolt against a dictatorship. This revolt led to, among many other things, the death of my father who then and the imprisonment of my mother. Both of them were CPP-NPA officers. I do not blame Aquino for both events. But it was her leadership that led to the fall (in my opinion) of the CPP-NPA. That, to me, is who Cory Aquino is... a housewife whose fight for democracy was far more courageous and meaningful than those who did it with arms. She may be many things, great and not so great, to many people. But to me, she is an icon. The beacon of light who showed me, and many others, that the fight…