I feel overwhelmed. Some things are going waaay too fast. While some are just not going nowhere at all. I feel stuck. I’m confused. I don’t know what to do, what to say.
I wish I was back to that time when all that existed in my world was work. Work is not complicated. It has structure. Most of the time it’s predictable.
Life, on the other hand, and the people we meet along that way, it’s hard to deal with. Even the happy moments, things you want to happen can overwhelm you, can make you feel lost.
Too many things happening at the same time. The things I want to happen, meanwhile, do not happen at all.
Expectations. I should live with less of it.
I am in front of the computer now, not because I want to. Not because I enjoy it. But because I dread going home, being alone, awake, thinking about things. Things that are, things that were, things that should be. Should have, would have, could have.
I exhaust myself so that when I get home, alone… there’s no energy left to do anything else but sleep.
I don’t want to cry again. It’s exhausting. It’s a chore.
My life isn’t that bad. I really should be happier. But somehow, I can’t enjoy the bright thick silver lining, the sunshine. I can only see the sliver of cloud hovering over my head.
Maybe I like wallowing in the sadness and pain. Maybe…
Hi Ria,
I think it’s good that you acknowledge the pain and sadness you are feeling, a counselor friend told me those people who can face these emotions head on are the strongest. “Wallowing” as you said can be therapeutic. I am not exactly sure the reasons behind this post but I would like to share this quote with you:
“Women are like tea bags, you do not know how strong they are until you dip them in hot water.” Cry if you must, it’s cathartic.
All the best! 🙂
Sometimes we feel helpless because we want to control
events around us. It is hard to let go, there is a danger that events and the environment will overwhelm you. However if we can learn to let go a little, allow a bit of chaos inyo our lives, we gain some freedom. It is so hard to let go, it requires a bit of trust in the universe and in ourselves, it feel so dangerous. I hope you can try it, even in a small way.
Best wishes for your journey, whatever you do. Look around you, and you will find you are never alone, though it can feel so lonely.